WHAT IS THE I-M?
The I-M Approach unleashes the power of respect. I have lived it, seen it, both in my professional and personal life by seeing people as doing the best they can at any moment in time. I call this your I-M, defined as your “current maximum potential”. “Current”, right now. “Maximum”, the best. “Potential”, the potential to change in the very next instant to a different I-M. I-M is pronounced “I am”. This is who I am at this moment in time, and I am doing the best I can, my I-M.
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My I-M is influenced by Four Domains: the Home Domain, the Social Domain, the Biological Domain of your brain and body, and the Ic Domain, how I see myself and how I think other people see me. Two Truths emerge because the Four Domains interconnect. 1) Small changes can have big effects. 2) You control no one but influence everyone: You get to choose the kind of influence you want to be.
Using the I-M lens there is no pathology, there is no sickness. No one is broken. We are at our I-M, doing the best we can at this moment in time, always adapting to even the smallest change in any of the Domains in the very next second to another I-M.
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We all want the same thing: to simply be valued by someone else. When you feel valued you feel safer. And when you feel safer you are less likely to get angry.
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I created this website to build on a belief that respect leads to value, and value leads to trust. Trust is the foundation of potential. Think about it—when was the last time you got angry with someone who treated you with respect?
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As you explore this website, you may find that all the various strands come back to this point. It is truly all about respect. I want to invite you to explore with me the latest understandings of this simple but profound interaction and the enormous untapped potential it has in our lives.
EVERYONE IS AT AN I-M
Everyone is at an I-M: doing the best they can at this moment in time with the potential to change in the very next second to another best they can: another I-M. This paradigm shift moves us away from seeing ourselves and others as less-than or broken, as sick or diseased or disordered. For example, a lot of people don’t want to take medicine because they worry that their Ic will be seen as less-than, which reduces their value. But when a person takes a medication, all they are doing is making a small change in the Biological Domain that can have a ripple effect through the entire system. The medication does not define the person. The person is at an I-M, and then changes the environment to move to a different I-M where they are more likely to love going to work and love going home: the Social and Home Domains.
This does not mean that your current I-M is the best you will ever do. It doesn’t mean you have to like your I-M. You don’t have to condone your I-M. Just because it is the best you can do at that moment does not mean your I-M is a free ride: you will be held responsible for your I-M because everything you do has a natural consequence. Your I-M doesn’t even mean you will win and be successful.
For some people success is when you love going to work and love going home. For some people success is having enough food in the fridge. For some people success is having a home to have a fridge. For some people success is just waking up and getting though the day. We all get to decide what success means to us. The I-M becomes a roadmap how to make a small change to get closer to your own definition of success.
Respect Leads to Value and Value leads to Trust
But instead of judging ourselves as less than and broken, or not doing as well as we could, of should be doing better, let’s look again at why we do what we do based on the influence of the Four Domains. Think about these words “look again”. Turn them around: “again look”. Again, like to repeat something. Look as in spectator. The I-M Approach says let’s re-spect why we do what we do. Without judgement. Simply recognizing the influence of the Four Domains. The I-M Approach is a position of respect.
And when is the last time you got angry at someone treating you with respect?
Never.
Anger is an emotion designed to change things. To get a person to stop doing something or start doing something.
But being respected feels great, so we do not get angry. Why would we want to change that?
The brain does not activate anger when it feels respected. This has the same reliability as gravity. Apples don’t fall up and the brain does not activate anger when it feels respected.
Think about every person you know. They all want the same thing: simply to feel valued by somebody else. This need for being valued is the common thread that bids us all. Respect leads to value, and value leads to trust. And trust allows you to unleash your unlimited human potential, your wonder, your creativity. You can take chances and make mistakes knowing you will not be judged. You can share your perspective.
By using the I-M Approach you can be remarkably and empathically creative, knowing you control no one and influence everyone and your small change can have a big effect.
This is how we can use the I-M Approach, right now. The I-M is your roadmap to make a small change that can have a big effect with the ultimately goal of loving going to work and loving going home. Of feeling valued wherever you go by helping to increase the value of others in their Home and Social Domains.